Pond

I watch hundreds of thousands of people, panicked,
Run into the fire instead of away from it.
I isolate and try to make my little bubble
Peaceful, but my efficiency faulters. Every time
The climb out of the hole feels longer, the
Body feels heavier and heavier.
I need to achieve something soon or I
Feel like the ladder out may not be there
Next time.

I find myself praying for derealization,
The world feels like barbed wire hidden
Under silky, false promises. I let myself
Get let down again.
I promise myself I’ll drift away before
I fall asleep, build a safe world inside.
I’m starting to understand the appeal of
Fragile power fantasies. I can’t ignore the
Reality of this world and it’s tearing me
Apart. All I want is happiness for a
Day.